노모경 (이인수 시집)

이인수

경북구미에서태어나2007년첫시집『길을묻다』로등단.
㈜한국야쿠르트에서고문을역임한후이천땅편운재(片雲齋)에서농사를지으면서두번째시집『국밥』(2017)을펴내었다.
현재‘시창’과‘한편의시’동인으로활동중이다.

시인의말05

1부
노모경老母經················14
봄,꿈···················15
질경이··················16
어머니··················17
어머니·2·················18
반환품확인요청서·············19
여자···················20
영원한약속················22
노을···················23
기도···················24
마른꽃에대한명상·2···········25
선녀춤··················26
무조건이란말···············28
기적···················29
홀아비단합대회··············30
별····················32
말하는나보다···············33
코스모스는예쁘다·············34
약속···················36
가장···················37
즐거운식사················38
등산화에게················39
땅빈대꽃·················40
반달···················41
쉽사리꽃·················42
점을떼다·················43

2부
푸른주먹·················46
땀의향기·················47
꽃인줄은모르고··············48
그리움에게················49
별을줍다·················50
하느님께·················51
채송화··················52
설마···················53
똥누는일·················54
연포에서·················55
돈가스가달았다··············56
득음···················58
씀바귀꽃·················59
인연론··················60
모란공작·················61
비오는아침················62
푼수들··················64
할머니이름은이쁜이였다··········65
버리지못한것들··············66
달팽이··················67
타협···················68
향유享有··················69
보험적삶·················70
천박한시·················72
꼬리···················73

3부
봄밤,빗소리················76
간절곶으로가야겠다············77
피납골옹달샘···············78
봄날···················80
참시인··················81
카누를타고················82
호호의비밀················84
시의족속·················86
삼지닥나무,꽃···············87
거룩한발·················88
저····················90
불꽃···················91
억새꽃··················92
네덕이다·················93
그리운것은················94
초승달단상·7···············95
가을산책·················96
그리움은비겁하다·············97
무명이되어················98
그렇게돌려주는··············100
불황···················101
청련계원聽蓮契員모집············102
부추꽃··················103
무명시인·················104
빵꾸···················105
실화···················106
번개··················107

4부
시간의진심················110
목련···················111
그늘의깊이················112
나의시는·················113
소통의원리················114
까닭···················115
낙엽이가는길···············116
남쪽에서온편지··············118
불꽃의노래················120
고요한눈·················121
다릅나무차받침··············122
구르는돌·················123
과꽃···················124
사랑···················125
마당이나쓸고···············126
완전한사랑················127
풀을뽑다·················128
오월의시·················129
하느님전상서···············130
상처가꽃이되네··············132
칼집···················133
동백꽃··················134
깨를털면서················135
가을기차·················136

5부
노을의시·················139
좋아하는사람···············140
수박밥··················142
불멸···················143
나를만나다················144
불량한기도················145
꽃의고백·················146
그대가꽃밭이다··············147
쓰고싶은시················148
찔레,하고·················149
선물사용법················150
불일암가는길···············151
오동도오동동···············152
취한봄··················153
매화보러간다···············154
맨발···················156
즐거운봄날················157
봄은올것이다···············158
낮달···················159
깨지다··················160
절값···················161
밤을지킨이에게··············162
구름···················164
12월30일·················166
인사동까마중···············167
새벽기도·················168
샛별···················169
동학사가는길···············170
11월의비·················172
불일암채마밭···············173

해설|_박정규(시인)
어머니께서엮어놓으신씨줄날줄의풍경···176

어머니께서엮어놓으신씨줄날줄의풍경

요즘소확행(小確幸)이라는,한자어를줄여붙인말이유행입니다.작지만자기만의확실한행복누리기를추구한다는뜻이지요.
이방법은거칠고각박한이세상이고달픈이들에게아주작은자기위로의수단이될수있을것입니다.그안에서나마자기만족감을느끼고그러면서거기에자기존재감을부여할수도있을테니까요.나만좋으면된다는이기심이살짝숨어있을지는모르겠지만,거기에대해서타인이이렇다저렇다판단하는것역시가당치않은짓이겠지요.
그런데말입니다.이상하게도나는저말을들을때마다그것에대한한가지궁금증을버리지못했습니다.소확행을실천하면서자존감도같이세울수있을것인지에대해서말이에요.
진정한행복은자존감이세워졌을때맛볼수있는것으로알고있었기때문입니다.
그러니까행복감은내가좀힘들고괴로워도관계성의도리를다했을때맛볼수있다는인식인데,요즘은이관계성의도리를다하려는모습이점점사라지는것같이느껴져서쓸쓸해지는군요.
그러나언제든어디서는세상풍조에흔들리지않는사람들은있습니다.그런사람들이시를쓰고요.
시쓰는일은그자체만으로도자가치유의수단이되고,또이어쩔수없는나를‘있는그대로’봐달라는간절한호소라는사실을그들은변해가는풍조에대한깊은사색을통해서점점더많이알게되기때문입니다.그러다가어떤누구의간절한호소가또다른누구의마음에스며들었을때는반드시퉁,울림이일어난다는사실을깨닫는순간이찾아옵니다.이건서로의마음에일어난공명의확인인데참신비한일이지요.

여기에더해서내호소에상대가반응(reaction)하고내가다시응답(aneffect)해주는관계성의이런황홀한체험까지하게되면무슨일이일어날까요.그때부터그는평생을시와
함께살아가겠다는결심을할수밖에없게되는것입니다.
사람과사람사이에서정서적교감의참본질은이런것입니다.좀마땅치않은상대라도“네가있어내가있고,내가있어네가있다”라며서로의존재감을인정해주고존중해주는것말입니다.이것이사람에대한간절함이죠.절절함입니다.시쓰는일은이런간절함과절절함을문자로표기하는일이고요.
‘절절해야시’라는시경(詩經)의자구(字句)역시시쓰는정서를잘성찰해놓고있습니다.
북송말기의성리학자주희(朱熹,朱子)는또어떻고요.시쓰는정서가무엇인지더구체적이며시원한죽비(竹?)를우리의가슴에내려칩니다.절절함은사람의심사에호소하며닿아맺히는심상(心象)이라고요!
저말에번뜩다가오는게있나요.그렇습니다.심상을요즘말로하면image입니다.심상을그려내는그게바로시라는것이고요.
시는자동적이든타동적이든이미지의현현(顯現:환하게드러냄,혹은감췄더라도그감춰진것이명백하게드러남)에서벗어날수없습니다.한대상을두고시를쓸때시인의심사에닿아맺힌심상에는더할것도뺄것도없다는뜻입니다.그런데문제는시를쓰는우리가이것저것군더더기를붙여서시를비만증에걸리게하거나아니면이상한옷을입히고야릇한장식을걸쳐서주제가뒤뚱거리고이미지가오염된괴상한시를곧잘만들어낸다는것이죠.
시를괴상한장식으로치장하는것을오브제(objet)의의식화로착각하지마십시오.그건설득력있는오브제가아니라그냥괴상한짓일뿐인겁니다.
그런데시창작에서그것보다더태연하게저질러지는일이있습니다.이것저것군살을잔뜩둘러붙인시는또어쩌면좋을까요.서정시는그자체만으로도멋있는존재입니다.다아시잖아요.
그런데그런존재를괴상하게치장할필요가무엇인지요.더구나시에붙은군더더기는뒤룩뒤룩번거롭고보기싫지않던가요.그러니까그냥수수하고순한옷을입어검소해보이는시가좋은시라는말입니다.
그러고보니이인수시인은본능적으로이걸알고있는듯합니다.그의시가내보이는서정에는억지가없고기교를부리지도않으며그냥수수하기만하니까요.
그걸다시파악하게되면서다음과같은생각이들었습니다.혹시이시집의시편들을해설하면서그서정을잘못건드리지는않을지.오히려그가자기시의화두(話頭)로던진주제들만가만가만살펴보는것이더큰의미가있지않을지.

그런생각을하다가처음받은그의시집초안본을또펼쳐봅니다.시집제목과직접관련된시한편을읽어봅니다.

감사엔조건이없어
물한잔
밥한술
김치국물

나를살게하는건
곡식한알
농부의땀
하늘의햇볕

감사하지않은건없어
고까운사람
험한시간
꽃샘추위
나는그들의몸이야
감사로피는꽃이야
-「노모경老母經」全文

이시는나를애지중지하며길러주신어머니에대한‘어쩔수없는’사모곡입니다.여기에무슨말을덧붙일수있겠습니까.이시집에는위와같은정서와연관된또다른시가들어있는데그역시마음에가까이다가왔습니다.

억울하더라도
군말않겠습니다
크게슬프더라도
울지않겠습니다

아프지않게,아프지만않게
그렇게만해주시면
당장데려가셔도
받아들이겠습니다

이미제노모는
깃털처럼가볍습니다
-「기도」全文

시는보통도입,전개,전환,정돈의순서를따르는게좋습니다.‘시적질서’를위해서라는설명을덧붙입니다.그렇다고이형식을절대적이라고강조하지는않겠습니다.다만대체로좋은시들은이런형식에그내용을담고있다는것은말해두고싶군요.
이제위에서말한형식과내용을기준으로해서이시를살펴보겠습니다.어떤가요?내용이절절한가요?그렇다면형식은어떤가요?도입과전개와전환이함께진행된것을보셨나요?
그러다가〈이미제노모는깃털처럼가볍습니다〉라니요.묘하고담담한가장법으로시를‘정돈’했는데이렇게마무리짓는형식적절차가억지라고느끼셨나요?설마요!
이제내용을살펴보겠습니다.이시의진술은언뜻마음의관조처럼읽힙니다.그러나이건절절한속울음의감춤입니다.어머니의끈에매달려있던손을끝까지놓기싫다는,아무리가벼워진깃털일지라도차마날려보낼수없다는사무침의탄식이지요.
그런데「천박한시」라고제목붙인시,이건무슨또다른관조의방식인지모르겠습니다.시속의화자는아예자신을〈나는과연천박한인간이〉라고우겨댑니다.〈실은그런주인잘못만난/내시에대한안쓰러움〉을어쩔수없다는역설적표현일테지만요.
그러나시인이인수는자기시에자기반성의성찰을군더더기붙이지않고깨끗하게드러내고있습니다.

달마산미황사에서
병과가난을밑천삼아
시를쓰던김태정이란시인은
무슨문화재단에서주겠다는
오백만원을
쓸데가없다고
끝내손사래쳤다고한다
그래,그래서
나는가짜인거라
-「참시인」全文.

시에는잘쓴시,못쓴시의우열이아니라좋은시와그렇지않은시가있을뿐이고,또좀치우쳐서말하자면좋은시를써야좋은시인입니다.다시말해서좋은시를쓰며성품까지좋으면참좋은시인이다.그러나시는그렇지않은데성품만좋다면그는그냥좋은사람일뿐인거죠.그러니까이인수시인이자기가가짜시인이라고한말도맞지않는겁니다.아마자기삶의태도가더소탈해지고싶다는역설적표현일수있겠지만,그래도그렇지,저렇게말하는것은자신의시와그시를읽어주는이들에게예의가아닙니다.한번묻겠습니다.자기가가짜시인이라고우기면서왜또「불황」과같은시는써서내보였습니까.
이시「불황」에는섬세한관찰의‘도입’과가만가만쓰다듬듯헤아리는부드러운눈길의‘전개’와대상의처지에스스로쑥들어가투사(投射-projection)하는‘전환’과너그러운용납과격려로끝맺음하는‘정돈’이있군요.
다시읽어봐도참좋은시입니다.

어젠우물가에서
촘촘한그물던지고
주차장길목에선
밧줄걸어당기더니
오늘은현관앞에다
올무를놓다니

끝모를안갯속불황
엎친데덮친코로나에
염치모르는장마
실업률사상최악
성장률은마이너스

산입에거미줄칠순없고
어린것연필은사줘야겠고
단칸방월세도밀렸을테니
이해하마,거미야
힘내렴
-「불황」全文

시인의또다른시「나를만나다」를읽는데자기를순순히묘사하다가시를정돈하는부분에서불쑥엉뚱한소리가들리는군요.정말〈볼수록볼썽사나운저사내〉가맞습니까.우리는이말에절대속아넘어가지않을텐데요.그전행에이미〈시없이는못살겠다고중얼거리는사내〉라는…복선을깔은것다알고있었으니까요.
이런시인에게도「쓰고싶은시」가있습니다.
〈끙끙앓으며쓴어려운시〉말고,〈정작내가바라는건//상한영혼을위한따뜻한시이다〉
그러니까시인이인수의시가확보한정체성이저것입니다.삶의태도역시그렇게되길바라고있을것도틀림없을테고요.그의시「새벽기도」를통해서보듯〈향기롭긴어렵겠지만/한결같은사람이기를〉바라는것처럼요.
한가지가더있습니다.그의시는스스로자신과화해하며이웃을용납할수있기를바란다는사실입니다.
「12월30일」이라는시제목은시제(時制)의구체성을명확히제시하고있습니다.
한해가딱하루남은날.12월30일.굳이함축을따지지않아도한해의마지막날이하루밖에남지않았다는시제가제시되니우리심사에촉박감이생깁니다.마무리짓지못한일들을어서매듭지어야한다고말이죠.
그런데시속의화자는뜻밖에도여유롭습니다.도입부에서부터〈그래,오늘은용서하기좋은날〉이라고말하더니이런저런마땅치않았던일들을늘어놓던전개에서갑자기〈용서라고해봤자저기억들위에깨끗한도화지한장얹으면될일〉이라고전환해버리네요.그다음이〈오늘은신께서도마지막으로나를흔쾌히용서하실것만같다〉는능청스러운정돈이고요.마치넌어때?되묻기라도하듯말입니다.
이어서토닥이는시한편이또건너옵니다.

외로워마라
벌거숭이라는사람아
동천에박힌별은
눈끔벅이며견디지않느냐
숲속마른잎씹는짐승들
부스럭거리지않느냐

서러워마라
밤이면춥다는사람아
소나무여린가지가
부엉이울음을보듬지않느냐
멀리잠든마을에서도
깨어있는불빛이있지않느냐

떨지마라
가난하다는사람아
빈주머니속움켜쥔주먹따뜻해오지않느냐
정작가난이란건
영혼없는자의몫이지않느냐

어깨를펴라
밤을지킨사람아
빈들판은윙윙울며
바람가득채웠지않느냐
어느새붉은날개편새벽이
앞산에서날아오르지않느냐
-「밤을지킨이에게」全文

살아가면서한번도외롭지않고서럽지않고떨지않고웅크리지않는사람이어디누가있을까요.이처럼「밤을지킨이에게」는받아들임의관조를말하고있습니다.시인은그러려니인정하고수용하는것을극복의방편이라여기고있는지궁금합니다.
사람은유리한(호의적)환경과이익을얻어낼수있는구조를자꾸만들어내려애쓰는존재랍니다.예를들자면세계의모든도시건설이그결과물이라할수있습니다.
그러나인간은적대적환경에도맞서서그걸극복해내며위대한업적을만들어내기도했습니다.미국네바다사막에세워진도시라스베이거스가그렇고로스앤젤레스도그렇습니다.
빼놓을수없는예가하나더있습니다.러시아의상트페테르부르크라는도시입니다.18세기초러시아의표트르대제는스웨덴과의북방전쟁에서어렵게승리를거둡니다.수많은악전고투를겪으며그곳이교통및군사적요충지라고판단하게됩니다.그리하여잦은홍수와범람으로습지대가돼버린그곳에어마어마한희생을무릅쓰고도시를건설한것이지요.그이후이도시는서구문물을받아들이는통로가됐고19세기러시아문화의황금기를구축하는데도큰역할을했습니다.
이처럼사람이만들어내는모든일은그역할을맡은사람의언행태도와그마음가짐의심사(心