정서 조절 코칭북 : 내 감정의 주인이 되어라!
이지영
저자:이지영
서울대학교심리학과를졸업하고동대학원에서상담·임상심리학을전공하여석사와박사학위를받았다.서울대학교대학생활문화원에서전임상담원및특별상담원으로근무하였고,서울대병원에서임상심리수련과정을이수하였다.한국심리학회가공인하는상담심리사1급이자임상심리전문가이고,정신보건임상심리사,게슈탈트치료전문가이다.또한국제코칭연맹(ICF)이공인하는국제전문코치이다.
현재서울디지털대학교상담심리학부정교수로재직하고있으며,SDU심리상담센터센터장을맡고있다.한국상담심리학회학술이사및홍보이사를비롯해서한국임상심리학회학술이사및편집이사등다수를역임했고,보건복지부입원적합성심사위원과국사편찬위원회고충심사위원회위원등을역임하였다.네이버프리미엄콘텐츠<이지영교수의감정코칭>채널과정서조절코칭전문가로서정서조절코칭센터와정서조절코칭연구소를운영하고있다.
PART1감정의주인이되기위해필요한지식
Chapter01정서는우리에게어떠한영향을끼치는가3
정서에대한역사적견해·········································································11
정서란무엇인가························································································13
정서의기능·······························································································16
정서를바르게이해하자···········································································24
Chapter02정서적정보를처리하는능력:정서지능39
정서지능개념의발달···············································································48
정서지능의차원에대한관점··································································51
Chapter03정서조절이란무엇인가61
해소되지않은감정이보내는신호··························································62
정서조절이필요한이유·········································································65
정서조절은통제,대처,방어와어떻게다른가·····································71
정서조절의유래······················································································73
정서조절에대한다양한정의································································75
저자가제안하는정서조절의정의··························································79
Chapter04정서조절방법에는어떤것이있는가81
문제초점적대처vs정서초점적대처·····················································84
정서유발과정을고려한구분································································85
정서조절방법의경험적구분································································88
적응적방법의세가지경험적구분:
능동적방법vs회피분산적방법vs지지추구적방법······················93
정서조절방법의체계적구분방식제안···············································94
Chapter05당신의평소정서조절방법의사용패턴은?:정서조절방법사용
패턴자가진단107
정서조절방법에대한몇가지궁금한것··········································107
정서조절방법사용패턴을알기위한자가테스트····························112
정서조절방법사용패턴에대한자가진단:
정서조절방략프로파일해석···························································123
Chapter06정서조절은정신건강에어떠한영향을끼치는가149
정신건강영역에서정서조절에대한학문적관심····························150
정서조절곤란·······················································································151
정서조절과정신병리의관계································································152
정서조절방법과정신병리의관계·······················································153
정서조절방법이정신건강에끼치는영향·········································164
정서조절방법이정서조절능력에끼치는영향································170
Chapter07적응적정서조절방법vs부적응적방법175
정서조절방략질문지(ERSQ)의특징·················································180
정서장애집단의정서조절방법···························································182
체험적정서조절방법의효과······························································191
PART2감정의주인이되기위해필요한실습
Chapter08부적응적인정서조절방법의사용을줄여라199
인지적정서조절방법···········································································202
체험적정서조절방법···········································································216
행동적정서조절방법···········································································219
Chapter09효과적인정서조절단계225
Chapter10단계I:알아차리기239
I-1.정서조절의첫시작:감정에주의를기울인다···························240
I-2.감정을명명한다·············································································259
I-3.알아차림:내적인상태와외적인환경을파악한다······················269
Chapter11단계II:주의분산적방법을도입하기277
인지적방법·····························································································280
체험적방법·····························································································282
행동적방법·····························································································285
생리적방법·····························································································287
Chapter12단계III:접근적인체험적방법도입하기295
정서적체험의효과················································································296
정서를다룰때의지침···········································································299
정서의네가지구분··············································································301
체험적방법을효과적으로사용하기위한조건····································313
효과적인체험적방법사용의4단계·····················································317
감정을해소하는데사용할수있는대안적인방법····························330
Chapter13단계IV:접근적인인지적방법을도입하기339
정서에대한인지적관점·······································································339
주요정서들의원인················································································346
IV-1.감정의원인과과정을이해한다·················································361
IV-2.합리적이고적응적인사고로대체한다·······································396
처한문제나상황에는문제해결행동취하기·······································408
Chapter14감정을효과적으로전달하는방법417
먼저효과적인정서조절단계를거쳐라··············································420
You-Message화법을사용하지마라·················································422
I-Message기법을사용하라································································424
감정을효과적으로전달하는세가지요소···········································425
맺음말내감정의주인이되어라429
부록다른사람에게감정을표현하거나조절할때고려해야할사항:개인차435
참고문헌445
찾아보기455
머리말
당신은감정의주인으로살고있는가
우리는매일하루를살아가면서때로는힘들고지쳐‘사는것이참힘들다’는생각을하곤합니다.그렇습니다.사는것은결코쉬운일이아닙니다.그런데힘들다는것이과연무엇일까요?바로감정입니다.우리는화가나힘들고,초조하고불안해서힘들고,슬퍼서힘들며,수치스러워힘든것입니다.따라서우리가느끼는감정을잘다룰수만있다면,고통으로부터벗어나보다편안하고행복한삶을누릴수있을것입니다.
그렇다면감정을잘다루기위해서는어떻게해야할까요?바로감정을제대로알아야합니다.감정자체는우리로하여금살아남을수있도록돕는장치로,생존과적응에유용한정보를줍니다.우리는감정이주는정보를파악해처한상황에서적절히대처할수있습니다.그러나정서자체가우리의생존과적응을돕고사라지는희생적인녀석이아니기때문에,발생한감정을잘다루지못한다면정서로인한부정적인영향에힘들어할것입니다.이렇듯당신이정서를어떻게조절하느냐에따라행복할수도있고그렇지않을수도있습니다.그런데정서의부정적인영향을피하기위해서,감정을느끼지않으려하고무시하고억누르는경우가많습니다.그렇다고감정이사라지거나해소되는것은결코아닙니다.무시되고억눌린감정은가슴한구석에쌓이고,당신에게다양한방식으로시위하며부정적인영향을끼칩니다.따라서우리에게필요한것은정서를피하고무시하고억누르는것이아니라,정서를적절히조절하는능력입니다.당신이감정의방관자나노예가되느냐,아니면감정의주인이되느냐의차이는감정을제대로이해하고조절할수있느냐의여부에달렸습니다.당신은처음부터감정의주인이었습니다.
이책은감정을제대로이해하고다양한상황에서적절하게다룰수있는구체적인방법에대해알려드립니다.전반부는감정을다루는데필요한지식을,후반부는이를바탕으로감정의주인이되는실습과정을다루었습니다.먼저제1부에서는정서와정서조절을이해하고,정서조절방법에는어떤것들이있는지살펴봅니다.
또한어떤방법들이정서조절에효과적이고그렇지않은지각정서조절방법의특징에대해알아볼것입니다.이과정에서당신의평소정서조절방법의사용패턴을진단할수있는정서조절방략프로파일을수록하였습니다.제2부에서는정서조절능력을향상하기위해크게두가지측면에서접근합니다.지금까지사용해온부적응적인정서조절방법의사용을줄이고,이와함께효과적인정서조절단계에따라적응적인정서조절방법을사용하도록안내합니다.감정을효과적으로처리하는방법을알았다면,마지막제14장에서는그런감정을효과적으로전달하는방법을연습합니다.
이책은일반인뿐아니라,상담및임상심리관련분야의전공자가상담및임상현장에서직접활용할수있도록구성하였습니다.따라서가능한한이해하기쉽게쓰려고노력하였지만,관련된이론이나연구결과들도포함하고있습니다.
그러다보니배경지식이부족한상태에서복잡한이론이나연구결과가나타났을때,당황스럽고이해가잘되지않아자칫책을덮고싶은충동이일어날지모릅니다.따라서미리말해둡니다.당신이이책을읽는목적이감정의주인이되기위해서라면,이해하기어려운이론적내용이나타났을때거기에지나치게매달리지말고과감하게지나쳐가십시오.그러면당신이원하는목적을충분히달성할수있을것입니다.
모든사람은자신만의자원과능력이있다고생각합니다.그러나이를제대로발휘하며살아가는사람은그리많지않습니다.감정은우리의자원과능력을발휘하도록돕는인생의나침반이자요술램프의지니와도같습니다.따라서자신의감정을제대로이해하고적절히다룰수있다면,좀더자신의능력을발휘하고원하는것을이루며살아갈수있을것입니다.여러분이자신의감정의주인으로서당당하게살아가는데,『정서조절코칭북』이조금이나마도움이되기를진심으로바랍니다.
2024년11월
이지영